too fast to live...

...too young to die.

g-dragon--just a little something to keep the mood from being too depressing.

and here's where all the lightheartedness ends. this isn't going to be my typical "i-love-bigbang-oh-my-gosh-T.O.P" post. also, i apologize for the scattered-ness of this post. i'm writing the way i'm thinking, which isn't very clearly at the moment. this past week, i had to come to terms with reality, and this has being weighing heavily on my heart and mind for the past couple of days.

this past week, i realized [once again] the following two truths: 1.) life is not fair, and 2.) life is too short.

terrible things happen, and i guess it's just one of those mysteries in life that i will never understand. but maybe it's for the best that i can't comprehend why things happen, and why tragedies occur everday.

i'm too young to know people who die. i mean, people my age. it's not like i haven't ever known anyone who has died, quite the contrary. it's just that i'm only twenty-two years old. people my age [or younger] just shouldn't die.

it's not fair. to have your whole life ahead of you--to have hopes and dreams and plans--and then to suddenly have everything snatched away. to be gone in the blink of an eye.

life is so short--too short. moments gone, seconds wasted. we're not guaranteed time. i don't know which moment will be my last; no one does. you blink your eyes, and it's over.

this past week i realized that no one is exempt from death. no matter how young you are or how good you are or how big your dreams are.

i have so many dreams and so many things that i want to accomplish with however much time i have. i'm tired of wasting time, counting down the minutes during the long afternoons until i can go home, or trying to race through the days until some big, exciting event. instead, i should be living each moment on purpose because i don't know how many i have.

in church, they always said that each day is a gift from God. but i think the truth is that each second is a gift.

life and etc.

i feel like i've been crazy busy over the last two weeks. like i've been running from place to place without any time to just sit down and catch my breath. so here are the highlights that i haven't had time to write about until now [and probably shouldn't be making time to write about now].

16 june, wednesday:

since the principal of my school is leaving in august he, for some reason, decided that all the teachers at my school should go on a hiking trip after lunch. the day before, my coteacher had suggested that it might be a good idea to wear jeans and comfortable shoes [as opposed to my normal skirt and sandals] because it might be more comfortable for the "leisurely" hike.

now, i'm not sure exactly what a "leisurely hike" in korea normally entails, but i do know that, in america, a "leisurely hike" definitely does NOT consist of the following things:

1.) walking up a kazillion steep stairs

2.) traipsing through ankle-deep mud

3.) pulling yourself up a mountain by a rope

4.) walking for a period of time greater than 2.5 hours

i would say that the view from the top was spectacular. except that it wasn't, because the weather that day was particularly crappy and everything was shrouded in fog. across the river and through the dense fog, i could just barely make out a hilly tree-line, which was allegedly north korea.

kim jong il cleverly disguises his country with fog.

the view on a not foggy day.

for dinner that evening, we were served eel. having no intentions of eating it, i politely declined, explaining that i don't eat seafood. to which my coteacher replied "but this eel came from the river." and then proceeded to hold a piece of eel in front of my face, forcing my to eat it.

it was...not very tasty.

19 june, saturday:

allison and i went to a hip hop concert in hongdae and it was pretty tight. this isn't usually my scene [my iPod almost exclusively consists of: BIGBANG, relient K, the Beatles, and other assorted kpop and indie rock], but allison managed to lure me in with the promise of cute korean boys ㅋㅋㅋ

i actually really enjoyed the concert; the artists were amazing and really talented. dumbfoundead [the only one i had ever listened to before the concert] was definitely my favorite, but i also really enjoyed MYK and DOK2. and i also decided that the ability to rap and beatbox well are really attractive qualities.

also, i have a crush on DOK2.

21 june, monday:

last week, i signed up for a korean tutoring program. so every monday and wednesday, i will go to study korean for 2 hours. i was SUPER nervous at first, but the girl i'm partnered up with is really cool, and her english is incredibly good. also, she's good at teaching and explaining things and i think i can learn a lot from it. the only downside is that, in order to do this for free, i have to join an english discussion group, meaning i have to help a group of koreans with their english. not that this is a bad thing, it's just that i'm usually really tired by the end of tutoring. last night, i was at the language center for 4 hours, which is really exhausting. but i think it will be a good experience, and i've already met some cool new friends which is really exciting.

also, i met a girl who goes to university with Taecyeon and T.O.P.

ABOVE: why i'm learning korean.

22 june, tuesday:

my coteacher invited me to her house to teach me how to make korean food. basically, she told me what to do and i did it. so now i know how to make japchae, bibimbab, and bulgogi. which is pretty freaking awesome. and also quite delicious.

23 june, wednesday:

i had my fourth open class this month. which is k-razy. but it went well. also, i got gifts from my students: a photo of daesung, a photo of T.O.P, and 2 BIGBANG posters.

since my students often come visit me in the office, they notice if the pictures they have given me aren't being properly displayed and that makes them sad and upset. with the addition of 2 new [quite large] posters, my office now looks like a fangirl's dreamland.

so much for hoping to keep my fangirl-ishness on the D.L.

HOTTHOTTHOTT [updated]

T.O.P

i love everything about this man. but especially his eyes. and his deep voice. omygosh.

he gave a preview of his music video at BIGBANG's big show concert wayyyy back in january, and finally, after months of anticipation, he finally released it...TODAY!!

i think it's pretty much the hottest thing ever. except that he kinda sucks at dancing. [and by "kinda sucks", i of course mean "is adorably awesome".] but then again, so do i, so it's all good.

최승현~~사랑해요 *^_______^*




also, i saw this hottness at the bsx in myeongdong, so naturally, it was imperative that i take a picture with it.

sadly, this is the closest i'll ever get to kissing the real thing.

photo taken by allison @ http://reallywally.blogspot.com/

there allison, are you happy now?? ㅋㅋㅋ

가자 포화 속으로

this past wednesday marked the theatrical release of the highly anticipated korean film, 포화 속으호 [71: Into the Fire]. i discovered that it was showing in seoul with english subs, so of course i had to see it since it is about the korean war and stars T.O.P [both of which i am interested in].

released in time to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the korean war, this is probably one of the saddest movies i have ever seen. i pretty much spent the entire 2-hour run-time in tears.

the movie was based on the true story of 71 student soldiers who were left to defend pohang girls' middle school [august 1950], which wasn't supposed to be an important battle site. however, they were attacked by the north, and were severely outnumbered. somehow, they managed to defend their position for 11 hours, and actually played a pretty important role in allowing the south and her allies to defend the nakdong river [keeping the north from taking over busan].

i've been researching this ever since i saw the movie, but unfortunately there doesn't seem to be much english information available.

the movie was based on letters written by 오장범 [oh jang-bum], played by T.O.P. jang-bum, leader of the student soldiers, wrote a series of letters to his mother, which were discovered after his death. [not gonna lie, the letter-writing part was one of the saddests parts of the movie, for me at least.]

oh my gosh, there's so much more i could say about this movie, because it really was an excellent film [and that had nothing to do with T.O.P being in it!] i had expected it to be good, since it received a lot of hype and got really good reviews, but i have to say that it exceeded my expectations. and T.O.P is actually a legitimately good actor [and yes, i would still think that even if i didn't plan on marrying him].

sigh. even the trailer makes me want to cry.

my 50th post ^^

over the past few days, i have been forced to watch this video 20 times. because my coteacher thought it would be a good instructional song/movie/thing.

it's pretty much the most irritating/disturbing thing i have ever seen in my life. like, what's with the random white guy??

no, seriously, what's with the random white guy?

대한민국 화이팅!!

this weekend, i was told by at least ten different people that i have very large eyes, bringing the amount of times i have heard this comment up to a million. [at least.] apparently, my eyes are much more ginormous than i had thought.

we have the same eye/face ratio.

also, my boy 박지성 [park ji sung] scored the second goal in korea's first world cup win against greece on saturday. i'll admit, watching the game was just a little bit exciting. i previously described soccer as: fun to play, sucks to watch. but, in a sea of crazy red devils [fans of the korean soccer team] it was easy to really get in to the game.

대한민국 화이팅!!

park ji sung=LOVE.

yum!!

so fajitas were a delicious success. i'm pretty proud of myself actually; i also made spicy queso dip and salsa. oh snap.

last night, i got my hair cut on a whim. and it looks pretty bangin', although radically different. my students pretty much freaked out today, and i've heard everything from "teacha, you look like world star" to "pretty, like a doll".

also, one of my students gave me a straight-up BIGBANG poster today. so now i have to decide if i will hang it next to my desk in the office or stick it on my wall at home.

decisions, decisions.