photoshop

today was picture day at my school, which i found out this morning at approximately 7:30. shockingly, this is more advanced notice than i normally get for any school event that involves me in any way.

i thought it was just going to be the standard teacher group shot. that's the only yearbook picture i was in last year. in the previous yearbook, for my single shot they used the picture from my arc [alien registration card] which they obtained...somehow.

anyways, after the group shot was taken, my coteacher turned to me and said, "we don't have a picture of you to photoshop. so you should take a solo picture."

i mean, i knew beforehand that all yearbook photos were photoshopped. last year, they put one teacher in charge of digitally altering ALL of the students' photos. i'm not exactly sure why you'd want to change the picture of an eight-year-old, but the teacher diligently spent about 15 minutes per photo, enlarging the eyes, whitening the skin, and removing any freckles or moles from the faces.

aigoo. i can only imagine what my picture is going to end up looking like. i can see it going one of two ways: either they try to make me look more korean, or they fix my picture the same way they do everyone else's and i end up looking like an anime character. excellent.

also this morning, my coteacher explained to me that the only teachers who had to have an individual photo taken were either: 1.) new, or 2.) wanted a "face upgrade".

in other news, the new substitute music teacher--an fifty-something man with kramer hair--is sitting in the corner of my office talking to himself. this has been going on for a while.

아이고~~