29 July 2010

a year in retrospect

i'm sitting in my apartment at my computer, listening to kpop, watching the minutes slowly tick by on the clock next to me...waiting. waiting. waiting for 4:30 to finally roll around so i can leave for the airport to catch my flight at 8. ahh, 8pm feels like it's an eternity away.

it hardly feels like it's been a year since i stepped out of the plane and onto korean soil for the first time. i felt so far from home, like i didn't belong. i was so worried about what the year would have in store for me. after all, i had only just turned 22, and i had graduated from university only 3 months earlier. even though i had lived outside of america before, i knew that i was embarking on this crazy adventure totally alone. doubts rose in the back of my mind. what am i doing here?

one year ago, i was just a scared, quiet girl. a girl who was bored with her life and the way things were. a girl who longed for something new and adventurous--a uniquely different experience--even if that meant leaving everything that was comfortable and familiar. so maybe i wasn't so scared after all. or maybe i was/am crazy.

one year ago, i had absolutely no idea what this year would hold for me. i had no idea about anything: the people i would meet, the places i would see, the things i would experience. i had no idea just how much i would love this place, and how i would absolutely not trade these experiences for anything.

my original plan was to stay for one year. save up some money. pay off my student loans. move back home. get a "real" job. absolutely not get attached. i had this grand plan for my life. and then i came to korea and threw the plan out the window. i got attached. i fell in love with korea. and i have no idea what i'm going to do after this is all over, but i know that i am absolutely never going back to my old plan. i realized that it's kind of nice to not have a plan. i don't need to freak out and worry about everything. i don't know what the future has in store for me, only God knows. and i know that He has only the best plan for me, so i don't need to worry.

i feel like i really experienced life this year. i let go of the plans and worries that i had about my life. i don't have to worry about silly things--life was made to be lived!

which is why i'll be coming back to korea after a month-long vacation back home in north carolina. honestly, i'm happy to be going home. i would be lying if i said i hadn't been even a little bit homesick this year. i miss my family, my friends, and my cat. i miss places and things back in the states. but i know that i'll be happy to come back to korea for year two. i know that, while i'm gone, i'll miss my [korean and foreign] friends here. i'll even miss school and my students. [let's face it: i FREAKING LOVE teaching.]

a little less than a year ago, i was sitting in a room full of strangers, listening to an epik speaker telling me what my life was going to be like. i was absolutely terrified. i was so tired [thanks a lot, motion sickness pills that don't work] and so hungry [thanks a lot, cafe we-don't-know-what-humans-actually-eat]. more than a few times i seriously considered booking the first flight out of here. but then, my group listened to an interesting lecture about tourism in korea. the girls was really excited to share her experiences and pictures, and i decided that korea seemed like a pretty awesome place.

for the rest of orientation, i spent my time making a list of everything that i wanted to see and experience while in korea. looking back at it, i realize that i have done a surprising amount of things. i've had so many new experiences because i decided to be brave and stay. [everyone back home would agree that this is soooo outside of my comfort zone...]

so here's my list. [the things i've done are in bold]:
1.) go bungee jumping
2.) go skydiving
3.) have a conversation with someone in korean
4.) learn how to cook a korean dish
5.) go to a full-length bigbang concert
6.) go to the korean war memorial museum
7.) wear a hanbok
8.) go to jeju
9.) go to busan
10.) climb seoraksan
11.) climb mount halla
12.) volunteer at an orphanage
13.) boryeon mud festival
14.) sing a song entirely in korean at noraebang
15.) go to the hello kitty cafe
16.) learn to ski/snowboard
17.) go to the zoo
18.) take the ktx somewhere
19.) see the ringing of the bells ceremony on new years'
20.) see the changing of the guards
21.) tour a palace
22.) tour a buddhist temple
23.) go to the dmz
24.) visit north korea
25.) be the best teacher EVER [still working on this one...]

i want to go everywhere and see everything. i guess i need to make a new list...

when i started writing this, i had absolutely NO intention of make it this long. but congratulations, you made it to the end!!

so here's a superspecial reward for you: se7en's new music video. [best. reward. EVER.]

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